Contrary to popular belief, we aren’t “up for it” all of the time.
Factors like a healthy relationship and sexual confidence can go a long way in staying frisky, but if you are carrying around stress and tension it can take a toll on your desire to get busy.
It’s a silly cycle. You’re too stressed for sex, but sex can be a great stress reliever. Hrmph.
It’s easy to say, “find time to make a date” or “take up a hobby with your partner” but these kinds of stress relievers come with time commitments, and that’s often the root of our anxieties.
Really, there’s not much you can do if your work piles up, and your family or financial obligations become intensified so, rather than adding whole new layers to your life try leveraging the time you currently have with yourself and your partner and inject a few more stress-relieving behaviours.
Say something nice to your partner every day. This works reciprocally. If you can take a minute to remind your partner why you love them, that can a long way in helping both of you relax. And likely, they will return they favour.
Be affectionate. When we’re busy and tired its hard to take a few minutes to enjoy an embrace or a massage. But these little momentary connections can take the edge off better than a glass of wine and may lead to some much needed release.
Sit in silence. Take a few minutes and sit with your partner. Don’t put the pressures conversation or discussion on it and just relax. Find the peace that you need but do it together. This will remind you both that you are there as partners for support and release and relaxation. On all levels.
An most importantly be open. Honesty in all aspects of your life will reduce stress overall. If we don’t feel open and emotionally connected through our communication it’s very difficult to feel loving and sexual.