Here are five ways women feel insecure in bed and why they absolutely, positively, shouldn’t.
Insecurity in bed is pretty common. In fact, if you talk to most women and men about the insecurities with which they struggle during sex, there’s a good chance you’ll get more than an earful from both genders. Despite the fact that sex is natural, healthy, and a downright good time, that doesn’t stop people from, in some cases, going into panic mode when it comes to sex. Whether it’s your first time or your 100th time, you can still experience insecurities in bed.
While both genders have their struggles, women, even more so, deal with insecurities. In a society that dictates how a woman should look, smell, and act, it’s hard not to have our brains overloaded with apprehension, fear, and anxiety. But of all the insecurities, there are some that are far more common than others.
Insecurity about their body. Between fashion magazines and every other commercial offering weight loss plans, being insecure about one’s body is definitely the biggest hang-up for women in bed. Even when they’re not in bed, many women struggle with body image as it is, so toss in lack of clothes and that insecurity can triple. It may be normal to feel uncomfortable in their own skin, but women really shouldn’t be. Women, all of them, need to realize that the difference in size and shape is what makes us all individuals – and who doesn’t want to be an original?
Insecurity about their skills. Whether it’s how to perform oral sex or how to get on top and grind in a way that truly satisfies their partner, women tend to suffer from performance anxiety, but they shouldn’t. If you go into any sex-related situation, fully knowing that you’re about to blow your partner’s mind because you really are the best, that confidence will vibrate across the room and wrap your partner up in the belief, too. At that point, there won’t be any need for performance anxiety or nervousness, because you know you got this.
Insecurity about body smells. We live in a society where the penis is treated like royalty and the vagina is treated like a red-headed stepchild, as the saying goes. Because of this, women struggle to love their vagina and accept a scientific fact of life: Vaginas smell. But you know what? If someone is into you, that smell is going to be good! It’s going to be great! And, yes, they’re going to want to put their face in there and lap it up with their tongue! That reason alone is why women shouldn’t worry about the smell or taste of their body, especially their vagina.
Insecurity about having an orgasm. Sadly, the orgasm gap – the difference in the number of orgasms between men and women – is alive and well. What this means is that men still have more orgasms than women, because it’s just easier for them to climax. Since that’s the case, some women struggle with trying to orgasm and, in turn, become insecure about it. Am I taking too long? Is my partner bored? Why can’t I do this? The thing is if a woman lets these thoughts permeate her brain, not only will she lessen her chances of having an orgasm even more, but the anxiety of it all will just take away from the moment. Women, oh, my fellow women, you do not need to feel insecure about your ability to orgasm at some sort of record speed or at all! A genuinely giving partner, the type of partner we all deserve and should have, will gladly give you 100 percent and all the time in the world to see that you have an orgasm. This is a guarantee.
Insecurity about bodily functions. Although it’s not exactly pretty, sometimes people fart during sex. Other times, people get their period during sex and suddenly it looks like you and your partner have rolled around in ketchup on the bed. And, if you’re into anal sex, you’re looking at whole other region of bodily functions – these things happen and while they do make a woman feel insecure, they shouldn’t. Why? Because to fart is human, to menstruate is to be a woman, to get poop on your partner’s penis during anal is just what happens. You can call it gross if you want, but being human and having bodily functions isn’t gross at all. It’s called being alive.